Divine Day : New Life Had Begun (28/11/02)

I came up with this statement, “I want to go to work with my boyfriend in New Zealand. It will be good for my work experience and to learn more about him. I don’t want to get married first because I can always come back here as a single woman.” It sounded funny but it worked. My family let me go. I resigned from my job and realised that it was a crazy idea. Half of my friends were surprisingly shocked with my decision as it just didn’t make enough sense to them, while the other half were appreciative of my decision.

Everything seemed to be smooth but I suddenly had second thoughts about the trip away from home. I was uncertain. Was I doing the right thing? Perhaps I was just scared of the big change? Did I miss something? I couldn’t work out the real answer. Every night I had a hard time getting to sleep and trying to search for the meaning of my decision. I was tired from breathing at night as my heart throbbed fast as if I was in the middle of a marathon. The rhythm was tense. My eyes were closed but the darkness didn’t allow me to calm myself down. What was the real reason for moving away? I couldn’t give myself a clear answer—that would come much later.

I, however, quickly concluded that I should stick with my first instinct, which sometimes was hard to rely on, as it didn’t always come with supporting reasons. Whether my instinct was right or not, I couldn’t figure out other certain ways to approach the situation. Risk was only what I surely embraced.

“You can always manage the risk,” said my father. “But action is needed” he continued, “If you’re not happy you can always come back. You don’t need to tolerate it if you feel that this is not for you. It’s different from work which you need to be patient.” He continued, “Unless you go, you will never know the other side of this story.” Although I was still confused, I agreed with his last sentence.

This was the only chance of its type in my life.
I wouldn’t want to regret what I didn’t do.
I decided to fully embark on this journey, stop worrying, and ready to unfold the mystery.

I arrived in Wellington on 28th November 2002; the city looked much more interesting than Matt had described, except for one important thing, the Wellington wind. He confessed to me with a forced smile “I was afraid you wouldn’t come if I told you about that.”